Peer Relations
As a parent, it is difficult to see your child struggling socially. We want to protect our children, but we also want to instill independence and an ability to get along with others, so it's sometimes hard to know what action to take.
Because gifted students are usually cognitively more mature than their same aged classmates, peer relations are sometimes strained. Students who are gifted often appear more advanced because they understand complex issues, however, they may not be as advanced socially because the brain does not always process social cues. The more cognitively advanced a child is, the harder it is for that child to find true peers. Sometimes children will cope with this social isolation by hiding or denying their giftedness, emphasizing their popularity or becoming overly social (Rim, 2002). Other times they choose isolation as that seems to be an easier option for them. Helping your child find similar peers will make a big difference. This may involve out of school activities and camps or starting up a cohort group (a group of parents experiencing similar circumstances that meet periodically to share information and resources).
What can I do?
· Value and support your child, set a strong foundation with them at an early age
· Seek out activities and groups allowing your child to spend time with like peers
· Utilize school counselors
· Watch for warning signs that may lead to depression such as retreating from loved ones, no longer participating in activities they once enjoyed, emotional outbursts, lethargy or a change in eating habits
· Teach your child social cues in a logical way (For example, "Look at someone when they are talking to you, and wait until they are finished before responding or asking a question.") (Robins, 2012)
· Discuss qualities that make a good friend
· Enforce the concept of respecting people and their different strengths
· If you feel your child is being bullied, contact the school, don’t wait for the situation to resolve on its own
References
Rim, S. (2002). Peer pressure and social acceptance of gifted children. In Neihart, M., Reis, S.M., Robinson, N.M., Moon, S.M., The social and emotional development of gifted children (pp 13-17). Washington, DC: Prufrock Press, Inc.
Robbins, S.H. (2012). The everything parent’s guide to raising a gifted child. Avon, MA: Adams Media.
As a parent, it is difficult to see your child struggling socially. We want to protect our children, but we also want to instill independence and an ability to get along with others, so it's sometimes hard to know what action to take.
Because gifted students are usually cognitively more mature than their same aged classmates, peer relations are sometimes strained. Students who are gifted often appear more advanced because they understand complex issues, however, they may not be as advanced socially because the brain does not always process social cues. The more cognitively advanced a child is, the harder it is for that child to find true peers. Sometimes children will cope with this social isolation by hiding or denying their giftedness, emphasizing their popularity or becoming overly social (Rim, 2002). Other times they choose isolation as that seems to be an easier option for them. Helping your child find similar peers will make a big difference. This may involve out of school activities and camps or starting up a cohort group (a group of parents experiencing similar circumstances that meet periodically to share information and resources).
What can I do?
· Value and support your child, set a strong foundation with them at an early age
· Seek out activities and groups allowing your child to spend time with like peers
· Utilize school counselors
· Watch for warning signs that may lead to depression such as retreating from loved ones, no longer participating in activities they once enjoyed, emotional outbursts, lethargy or a change in eating habits
· Teach your child social cues in a logical way (For example, "Look at someone when they are talking to you, and wait until they are finished before responding or asking a question.") (Robins, 2012)
· Discuss qualities that make a good friend
· Enforce the concept of respecting people and their different strengths
· If you feel your child is being bullied, contact the school, don’t wait for the situation to resolve on its own
References
Rim, S. (2002). Peer pressure and social acceptance of gifted children. In Neihart, M., Reis, S.M., Robinson, N.M., Moon, S.M., The social and emotional development of gifted children (pp 13-17). Washington, DC: Prufrock Press, Inc.
Robbins, S.H. (2012). The everything parent’s guide to raising a gifted child. Avon, MA: Adams Media.